To be clear, I’m not fishing for any compliments or reassurances. In all honesty, I just don’t know how I managed to partner up with a great girl like her. There are so many wonderful men out there that can’t find someone despite their qualifications and effort, and a neurotic buffoon like me pulls it off with little effort.
A part of me feels like she could have done so much better. She could have found someone better looking, less awkward, more masculine, and more competent in life. It’s not for lack of trying of course, but why should that matter? She could easily have discarded me anyway.
Obviously, she looks past these flaws, or denies they exist. And apparently, she finds other things about me that she likes. For that I’m immensely grateful. It proves just how lucky I am. Why should I have someone like her when there are more deserving people, many of whom could possibly make her happier than I ever will?
But there you have it. It’s mostly a matter of luck, I think. I’m living proof that love can often be less about “being smooth” or classy and more about random chance: that moment when you happen to cross paths for someone that will accept you for who you are, even if you don’t deserve it.
There’s my dose of self-loathing for the night. The funny thing is, I’m not even depressed or anything. This is just how I feel.
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- examined-life said: To quote (in a radically different context!) Clint Eastwood: “Deserve’s got nuthin’ to do with it.” Love is not earned, but given freely— including to you.
- irishsaints said: its funny because i don’t read this as self loathing- to me, its a wonderful epiphany of “right time, right place, right people” and i think thats fantastic. i really really like that idea, because it sort of meshes with my current life situation. :)
- whitesparrowsblackarrows said: obviously your girl friend sees the great qualities that you yourself miss. :)
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