Let’s talk Hannibal and feminism for a second.
Specifically, let’s talk about what makes Lecter’s character so appealing to a female audience and why that makes so many people uncomfortable.
(Takes the book & movie canons into account. TW for discussion of murder, cannibalism and violence as well as mentions of sexual violence.)
Very interesting analysis. It makes a lot of sense.
I am sure every girl can recall, at least once as a child, coming home and telling their parents, uncle, aunt or grandparent about a boy who had pulled her hair, hit her, teased her, pushed her or committed some other playground crime. I will bet money that most of those, if not all, will tell you that they were told “Oh, that just means he likes you”. I never really thought much about it before having a daughter of my own. I find it appalling that this line of bullshit is still being fed to young children. Look, if you want to tell your child that being verbally and/or physically abused is an acceptable sign of affection, i urge you to rethink your parenting strategy. If you try and feed MY daughter that crap, you better bring protective gear because I am going to shower you with the brand of “affection” you are endorsing.When the f*** was it decided that we should start teaching our daughters to accept being belittled, disrespected and abused as endearing treatment? And we have the audacity to wonder why women stay in abusive relationships? How did society become so oblivious to the fact that we were conditioning our daughters to endure abusive treatment, much less view it as romantic overtures? Is this where the phrase “hitting on girls” comes from? Well, here is a tip: Save the “it’s so cute when he gets hateful/physical with her because it means he loves her” asshattery for your own kids, not mine. While you’re at it, keep them away from my kids until you decide to teach them respect and boundaries.”
So many people pretend they want something deep in a partner — intelligence, kindness, integrity, and so on. But ultimately, they only ever go for people who are attractive, well-off, “confident” (e.g. jerks), or all of the above.
Everyone is entitled to like whoever they want of course. But in that case, don’t waste my time pretending you want something qualitative when you clearly don’t. I wish people could just admit what they want and stop getting my hopes up. I wish the dating advice given to me didn’t consist of suggestions that I pretend to be something I’m not just to attract someone to me. Why should I have to resort to such disingenuous? Is this really the only way to pair up with someone? Am I really that undesirable that I must lie?
I know that evolution — and thus romantic preferences — favors those who are masculine, well-off, and attractive — all the things I’m not. I’ve accepted this fact. But it’d be easier to deal with if I wasn’t led on by these insincere standards. Then again, I’m sure most people mean well, and simply can’t help who they fall for.
Or maybe I’m just being bitter due to my own inadequacies. I’m not even really looking for anyone right now, but reflecting on the system that inevitably awaits me when I do.
Sometimes, it seems that the difference between flirting with someone and being a creep depends on how you look.
While I’m typically an optimist about human nature, I’m convinced most people are more superficial in their criteria for a relationship than they’re willing to admit.
Everyone provides a litany of deep and admirable qualities they look for in a romantic partner- intelligence, integrity, romanticism, etc. But if someone comes along who is not physically attractive, despite meeting this criteria, they are rebuffed.
I don’t hold it against anyone personally. I attribute it to human nature and our supposed evolutionary predisposition to certain appearances. But it doesn’t make me feel any better that my physical and mental deficiencies have deterministically ruled me out for the majority of women out there.
My chances aren’t zilch, given that I’ve mercifully had a few relationships (although I was dumped in most of them). But they aren’t good either. And maybe I’m better off that way, since I’d rather be lonely than participate in this shallow, confusing, empty dating game (easier said than done of course).